Hello friends and welcome to my attempt to reveal who I am via the minuscule portal of the internet. I've never been particularly drawn to small talk although I do recognize its initial power to welcome. However, I'm here to be genuine. Always have been, always will be, because why be any other way? So, with that understood, I offer you the sincerest welcome into my world. It's a strange, deep place, but so is yours. And I believe beauty graces everything we know to exist. The decision to see beauty lies in our own hands because it won't always be obvious. That's the beauty of beauty. I hope you decide to let it grace you in some way.
I once told my mother (the single person I tell everything to) that I'm affected by life's nuances in the same way tree leaves are affected by the slightest pull in the wind (and yes, this idea has subsequently inspired a song). I figured this genetic characteristic is impossible to change but as long as I'm rooted, I can't be destroyed by my hyper-sensitivity. My hyper-sensitivity is such a crucial part to who I am. My music would be non-existent without my ability to be deeply affected by anything and everything that I see and feel. Yes, it is a whirlwind of a time to exist in my skin but I also know I'm not alone. The artists that inspire me most remind me of this. My mother reminds me of this. Trees and their quivering leaves remind me of this. I am not alone. My biggest challenge is being able to recognize how to regrow my roots when they've crumbled due to a force that's weakened me beyond a couple lost leaves. Is it patience? Is it faith? Is it taking action? Is it finding new roots? The answers will find me at the meeting spot of time and experience. During the time that I grow (which will be all of the time that I'm alive), I must always be doing and while fear can come along for the ride, it certainly can't drive (an idea I have to give author Elizabeth Gilbert credit for. Please read her. She is an astounding individual.). Letting fear drive is like letting winter stay forever. Yes, my tree leaves do shrivel and die during winter-like times but they regrow the minute I decide to let spring work its magic.
So now at the tender age of 20, I've learned that spring will not come to me until I find a way to let it in. And throughout my journey of finding ways to let spring in, I will get scared, I will make mistakes, I will lose, and I will fail. But I won't stop creating, loving, and growing because why not transfer the energy of a slight shake in my leaves into something bigger and even more beautiful? I am fully aware that the deeper I go, the more at risk I am of being broken. But I've already been defeated several times and I have survived. And I must say, it is inexplicably more worthwhile to touch the bottom than to scratch the surface.
Welcome to my world. I encourage you to listen to my sounds and words. See if you can relate to anything. It does not have to be word for word, sound for sound but please realize that as much as I am here for me, I am here for you. I am here to create for myself but I'm also here to share and connect with those who are open. Everything is connected. It doesn't take long for me to fall in love with someone. It doesn't take long for me to decide that someone is worthy and deserving of so much love. Please comment, tell me about yourself, show me who you are. Tell me what makes your tree leaves move and please stay tuned for the revealing of what I have in the works...
Much thanks and much love,
- Leah Jean